I get this question almost every week, usually typed quietly into an enquiry form late at night. Should I lose weight before boudoir shoot day, so I look better in the photos? I want to answer it properly, because the honest answer is no, and I want you to understand why I mean that.

Not as a nice thing to say to make you feel better. As something I have watched play out with woman after woman in my Footscray studio, and something I believe with my whole chest.

The question underneath the question

When a woman asks me if she should lose weight before her session, she is rarely asking about kilograms. She is asking whether she is allowed to be photographed as she is right now, today, in the body that got her through this week, this year, this decade.

The honest answer is yes. You are allowed. You do not need permission, and you do not need to change anything first. This is true whether you are a size 8 or a size 24, whether you had a baby six weeks ago or six years ago, whether you love your body most days or you have not felt at home in it for a long time.

Why the goalposts always move

Here is the pattern I have seen more times than I can count. A woman decides she will book once she has lost weight. She sets a number in her head. She reaches it, or she gets close, and instead of feeling ready, she finds something else to wait for. Her arms this time. Or her stomach. Or she decides she needs to tone up before she can tone down, whatever that even means.

The waiting was never really about the weight. It was about a feeling of not being enough yet, and that feeling does not disappear when a number on a scale changes. It just finds a new place to hide. I have photographed women who have lost the weight they thought they needed to lose, and they arrive with a brand new list of things they want to fix first. The goalposts move because they were never really about your body. They were about permission, and permission is something you can give yourself today.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone in it, and it does not make you vain or silly for feeling it. It makes you human, and it makes you exactly the kind of woman I love working with, because you are the one who finally decides the waiting has gone on long enough.

I think about this a little like renovating a house you are about to sell, except you never sell it, because it is the only house you will ever live in. There is always another room that could be improved. At some point the more useful decision is to live in it fully, exactly as it is right now.

What crash dieting before a shoot actually does

Before I was a photographer, I was a nurse manager working in aged care, and years of caring for people’s bodies taught me something that has stayed with me. Sudden, severe changes to how you eat in the days or weeks before an event do not make you look better. They usually make you look and feel worse.

Skin loses its glow when you are under-fuelled. Under-eye circles deepen with poor sleep and stress, which almost always show up together with restrictive eating. Energy drops, and energy is what carries you through a three to four hour session with warmth and presence. None of that photographs as confidence. It photographs as exhaustion, because that is exactly what it is.

If you want to feel your best on the day, eat properly, drink water, sleep well and arrive rested. That is not a diet plan. That is just basic care for yourself, the same care I would want for anyone I was about to spend an afternoon photographing.

Lingerie should fit the body you have today

Here is a practical point that matters more than people expect. Buy or bring lingerie that fits the body you have on the day of your session, not the body you are hoping to have in six weeks. A piece that is a size too small and digging in will never photograph as well as a piece that actually fits and lets you breathe.

I wrote a full guide on what to wear to a boudoir shoot if you want more detail, but the short version is this. Comfort shows up on your face. A strap that is cutting in, a zip that will not quite close, a waistband you are holding your stomach against, all of it pulls your attention away from the moment and onto your body in a way that has nothing to do with how you actually look. Fit well, and you will feel free enough to actually enjoy yourself.

What I actually do with the body you bring me

My job is posing, light and guidance, not editing you into someone else. I direct every session from your fingertips to your chin, and that guidance does more for how you look in your photos than any amount of weight loss ever could. Soft light is flattering on every body. Good posing lengthens, supports and reveals a woman at her most natural. None of that depends on a smaller number anywhere.

If you have spent years believing your body needs to change before it deserves to be photographed beautifully, I would gently push back on that, the same way I would with a friend. I have photographed women who were convinced they were not a model and had no business booking a session like this, and watched them see themselves properly for the first time in years. If any part of you is asking whether you can do this while not feeling confident, the answer is the same one I would give about weight. Yes. You do not need to feel ready. You just need to show up.

You do not owe your body a smaller version of itself first

I photograph women at every size, every age and every stage of life, and I mean that. If you have wondered whether a studio like mine actually welcomes bigger bodies, have a read of my page on plus size boudoir in Melbourne, because I want that question answered clearly and kindly, not left hanging.

I know some readers here have a genuinely difficult relationship with food or their body, and I want to be careful with that. This is not a piece telling you how to eat or how to look. It is simply this. Your body, as it is on the day you book, is allowed to be photographed with care, respect and beautiful light. Nothing about it needs to be earned first.

If you have been sitting on this decision, waiting for a version of yourself that has not arrived yet, I would love to hear from you. You are welcome to send a message and ask your questions first, no pressure at all, through mystoryboudoir.com.au/contact. I will talk you through everything, gently, and there is no version of this conversation where I ask you to change anything about your body first.

Michelle x
My Story Boudoir, Footscray, Melbourne

Lose weight before boudoir: quick answers

Should I lose weight before my boudoir shoot?

No. Your body on the day you book is the body I photograph, and posing, light and guidance do far more for your images than weight loss ever could. Waiting to feel smaller usually just delays something you are already ready for.

Will crash dieting before my session help me look better in photos?

No, and it often does the opposite. Sudden restrictive eating tends to dull your skin, deepen under-eye circles and lower your energy, all of which show up far more than a few kilograms ever would.

What size lingerie should I buy for my shoot?

Buy for the body you have on the day of your session, not a body you are hoping for. Well fitted lingerie that lets you move and breathe will always photograph better than a smaller size that digs in.

Send me a message

If something here has landed, this is the easiest way to start. Fill in the form below and I will come back to you personally. There is no pressure and no obligation, and you are very welcome to simply ask your questions first.